I thought I would never check this blgo anymore but fine!..
I'am in such a Funeral for a friend mood.. I just seriously love that band, is one of my favorite bands..
So yeah this is my personal blog, I guess... no one really needs to read it.. anyways.. I'm not in a good mood at the moment.. I think I'm lovesick.. or whatever. I just really NEED someone next to me to love, to like, to feel atraction. I feel sad, usless, ugly.. you name it. I don't know I guess sometimes you just have your ups and downs.. Guess this is a down time? Hmm.. wonder how much it will last.. :( I just want to meet someone that will give me love and I can love back, someone I can share or waste my time... someone I can sit and watch the stars, Someone to kiss, to feel hope with and that will make me feel a better person. I guess.. he must be really far away from me.
Mood Song. Drive -Funeral for a Friend.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
I just love old rock.
Wow seriously I'm so obsessed right now with guns and roses its jut so addictive. It's a shame how music is not just the same as it used to be all the britney crap, trance music, reggae all that shit.. that is "in" now can just go ahead and fuck off.. Who care about that stupid music all singing about the same sex and love and why You dont love me back or wow.. You're leaving me. All dramatic, all emo who the fuck cares? Of course all people that follow trends and ignore a personal stylem, seriously. At least music in the 60-80's had a meaning, they would protest. It meant something, It was freedom, they had values, they had the need to express themselves against all the opression of the war and shit that was making the world be messed up.. now it's just so sad. Music has no meaning anymore, is just a trend and then it fades away and is hidden in the deepest, darkest past. That's it unlike.. some good music like the beatles, ramones, pink floyd, guns a roses those are actually very good examples. Their music is still alive and is able to touch peoples hearts. It's just amazing. I know that was not our time, but come on you should try to taste some little bits of real music. It was simple and uncomplicated. I was music. Just music.. you would just let it flow and enjoy it.
Monday, September 7, 2009
I am..
I am an exquisite human being constantly judged by our miserable society or those whom we call friends. I've done things I am not proud of, I've betrayed people who love me, yet I don't love them back and what is worst is that just forgot how to feel.
The lack of emotions i'm living now it's not normal, I am constantly scared, but I no loger feel. I'm stuck on fear and I can't hold it back. I wanna feel like a real person, just the way he made me feel that cold evening in which I betrayed everything I once believed on, but it just felt so esquisite that I don't regret, I just don't.
I would do it again, he made me feel like a real woman, object of desire and lust it was amazing, it was the forbiden fruit of all times that who might've never been touched before. Just thinking about it makes me shriver and gives me goosebumps and turns a fire one me. I wanna feel like that every single day of my life. Exquisite.
Regardless of everything I've been through, I love being me. Even thought people thinks opposite, they're wrong. I've done bad things, things I'm NOT proud but yet I would do them again, they might talk, 'cuz trust me they will, but I've reached to a point where I no longer care the opinion of anyone anymore.
They are not me. They don't feel what I feel, they dont figh what I fight. They hate me yet they love me, hypocrites! I' am me whether they like it or not.
The lack of emotions i'm living now it's not normal, I am constantly scared, but I no loger feel. I'm stuck on fear and I can't hold it back. I wanna feel like a real person, just the way he made me feel that cold evening in which I betrayed everything I once believed on, but it just felt so esquisite that I don't regret, I just don't.
I would do it again, he made me feel like a real woman, object of desire and lust it was amazing, it was the forbiden fruit of all times that who might've never been touched before. Just thinking about it makes me shriver and gives me goosebumps and turns a fire one me. I wanna feel like that every single day of my life. Exquisite.
Regardless of everything I've been through, I love being me. Even thought people thinks opposite, they're wrong. I've done bad things, things I'm NOT proud but yet I would do them again, they might talk, 'cuz trust me they will, but I've reached to a point where I no longer care the opinion of anyone anymore.
They are not me. They don't feel what I feel, they dont figh what I fight. They hate me yet they love me, hypocrites! I' am me whether they like it or not.
something.
"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."
-"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
-"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
a revelation
E.E. Cummings once wrote: 'To be nobody but yourself- in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.'
I'm learning to breath, I used to be so frustrated among everything, but is not saying im blending it's saying i'm growing up it feels so good to find yourself out of the glamour and the fakeness that grows among us every single day. People pretending to live a life that they don't need, people pretending to be more important than others 'cause they think it makes them feel superior, out of a world with an uniform where everyone dresses up as the same.
Recently I realized how I had been drowning in that world. Alone in the solitude of my walls I've learned little by little to discover myself. I used to be so insecure about who I was, but the reality is that I was no one. Nothing compared to who I am now. I had become a miserable person and I will never let myself forget that 'cause that means I never wanna go back. I was oblivious from the world or at least thats how i felt. I felt I had been thrown on an exile and it was exquisite. All the pain, the tears, the fear, the rage, the regret, the anger, all those feelings by myself I hated them, but Oh now I can say loved them because it makes me remember I'm alive, I'm a living creature with feelings and it felt good even thought I went into hidding and was on my darkest hours.. I would do it again.
A moment of loneliness can reveal the most amazing secret. It's a must.. to be alone for a time, almost without talking to the people you know. In order to grow you must change your eviroment and surround yourself within the unknown it's the only way you will be able to find yourself talking with the deepest part of your soul and find the revelation of your life.
I'm learning to breath, I used to be so frustrated among everything, but is not saying im blending it's saying i'm growing up it feels so good to find yourself out of the glamour and the fakeness that grows among us every single day. People pretending to live a life that they don't need, people pretending to be more important than others 'cause they think it makes them feel superior, out of a world with an uniform where everyone dresses up as the same.
Recently I realized how I had been drowning in that world. Alone in the solitude of my walls I've learned little by little to discover myself. I used to be so insecure about who I was, but the reality is that I was no one. Nothing compared to who I am now. I had become a miserable person and I will never let myself forget that 'cause that means I never wanna go back. I was oblivious from the world or at least thats how i felt. I felt I had been thrown on an exile and it was exquisite. All the pain, the tears, the fear, the rage, the regret, the anger, all those feelings by myself I hated them, but Oh now I can say loved them because it makes me remember I'm alive, I'm a living creature with feelings and it felt good even thought I went into hidding and was on my darkest hours.. I would do it again.
A moment of loneliness can reveal the most amazing secret. It's a must.. to be alone for a time, almost without talking to the people you know. In order to grow you must change your eviroment and surround yourself within the unknown it's the only way you will be able to find yourself talking with the deepest part of your soul and find the revelation of your life.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Cambios..
Obviamente todos los seres humanos existentes tienes la necesidad de un cambio, la monotonia se vuelve tan frecuente que caemos de pecadores en la rutina sin ningunas ganas de superación y caemos esclavos del conformismo.
He aquí una de las razones de porque los seres humanos somos tan infelices, es decir, la necesidad de poder y sentirnos dueños de nuestros destinos es lo que nos lleva a estas situaciones de infelicidad. El humano promedio desea superarse y encontrarse en un estado de felicidad que le permita estar cómodo, pero por cómodos terminamos pecando de conformistas y al ser conformistas pasa el tiempo y nos pregutnamos por que somos tan infelices y miserables. Claro y luego de hecho le hechamos la culpa a Dios quien no tiene nada que ver con el inconformismo. Dios da el lienzo y la pintura pero depende de nosotros saber como usarla.
En mis dieciocho años de vida jamas habia sido tan conformista como lo soy en este preciso instante es como si las ganas de vivir no existieran, pero en cambio si lo estan solo que parece como si yo hubiera perdido el rumbo y ya no se que estoy buscando ni que estoy haciendo.
Lo importante no es el fin del camino, sino el camino. Quien viaja demasiado aprisa se pierde la escencia del viaje.
-Louis L'Amour
Vivo buscando una respuesta a mis preguntas y en el lapso que intento encontrar mis respuestas sale algún desgraciado que cree que tiene la razon, pero entonces no miran realmente sus vidas y lo poco que estan haciendo con ellas mientras se meten en la de los demas. Porque Ah! claro, decimos que son nuestros amigos y que ellos tienen derecho a saber lo que pensamos, pero la realidad aquí es a quien le importa loque piensen los demás al fin y al cabo "vinimos a este mundo solos y no iremos solos" eso es lo que dicen unos, pero realmente no se trata de eso, se trata de como y con quien vivistes tu vido porque OBVIAMENTE Dios creo a muchos seres humanos para que no nos sintieramos solos y todo se basa en como compartistes tu vida y las bendiciones que Dios te dio con los demás, pero como no ser egoista ante que todo el mundo parece estar aquí solo para joderte la vida.
La solución y desición que yo tomaré es que buscare un cambio, un nuevo rumbo, un nuevo estilo de vida, un nuevo todo. Porque el simple hecho de nacer de nuevo es lo que nos hace mas fuertes cada día..
Trata a los demás como quieres que te traten aunque eso muchas veces signifique sacrificar tus pensamientos. Al menos que ese imbecil se lo merezca.
GWAR.
He aquí una de las razones de porque los seres humanos somos tan infelices, es decir, la necesidad de poder y sentirnos dueños de nuestros destinos es lo que nos lleva a estas situaciones de infelicidad. El humano promedio desea superarse y encontrarse en un estado de felicidad que le permita estar cómodo, pero por cómodos terminamos pecando de conformistas y al ser conformistas pasa el tiempo y nos pregutnamos por que somos tan infelices y miserables. Claro y luego de hecho le hechamos la culpa a Dios quien no tiene nada que ver con el inconformismo. Dios da el lienzo y la pintura pero depende de nosotros saber como usarla.
En mis dieciocho años de vida jamas habia sido tan conformista como lo soy en este preciso instante es como si las ganas de vivir no existieran, pero en cambio si lo estan solo que parece como si yo hubiera perdido el rumbo y ya no se que estoy buscando ni que estoy haciendo.
Lo importante no es el fin del camino, sino el camino. Quien viaja demasiado aprisa se pierde la escencia del viaje.
-Louis L'Amour
Vivo buscando una respuesta a mis preguntas y en el lapso que intento encontrar mis respuestas sale algún desgraciado que cree que tiene la razon, pero entonces no miran realmente sus vidas y lo poco que estan haciendo con ellas mientras se meten en la de los demas. Porque Ah! claro, decimos que son nuestros amigos y que ellos tienen derecho a saber lo que pensamos, pero la realidad aquí es a quien le importa loque piensen los demás al fin y al cabo "vinimos a este mundo solos y no iremos solos" eso es lo que dicen unos, pero realmente no se trata de eso, se trata de como y con quien vivistes tu vido porque OBVIAMENTE Dios creo a muchos seres humanos para que no nos sintieramos solos y todo se basa en como compartistes tu vida y las bendiciones que Dios te dio con los demás, pero como no ser egoista ante que todo el mundo parece estar aquí solo para joderte la vida.
La solución y desición que yo tomaré es que buscare un cambio, un nuevo rumbo, un nuevo estilo de vida, un nuevo todo. Porque el simple hecho de nacer de nuevo es lo que nos hace mas fuertes cada día..
Trata a los demás como quieres que te traten aunque eso muchas veces signifique sacrificar tus pensamientos. Al menos que ese imbecil se lo merezca.
GWAR.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
En busca de un nuevo sol..
A veces me asombra lo que escribo, pero me asombra mas como me siento. Predico y predico y a veces no cumplo. Debes hacer lo que predicas dicen por ahí pero a veces me he es tan dificl.
Hoy ha sido un día tan confuso porque me llené de tanta ira solo porque las personas me quieren y quieren lo mejor para mi. Siempre escribo de que hay un cambio, pero muchas veces me siento como si no valiera un centavo. Me preocupa demasiado lo que las personas piensan de mi. Yo se dentro de mi que soy una buena persona, pero a veces me pierdo en mi propio pesimismo, pero me doy cuenta de que cada vez soy mas y que algún día sere grande.
Pero a veces tengo miedo y sufro porque no se que dirección toma mi vida y si estaré bien en un futuro, mi trabajo, mi vida, mi familia. Tantas cosas me preocupan que no se si es normal, pero creo que si tengo fe todo lo que yo quiera lo podre lograr. Solo necesito esa inspiración divina que me haga sentir que puedo volar y alncanzar todo lo que desee..
Hoy día busco un nuevo sol..
g.war
Hoy ha sido un día tan confuso porque me llené de tanta ira solo porque las personas me quieren y quieren lo mejor para mi. Siempre escribo de que hay un cambio, pero muchas veces me siento como si no valiera un centavo. Me preocupa demasiado lo que las personas piensan de mi. Yo se dentro de mi que soy una buena persona, pero a veces me pierdo en mi propio pesimismo, pero me doy cuenta de que cada vez soy mas y que algún día sere grande.
Pero a veces tengo miedo y sufro porque no se que dirección toma mi vida y si estaré bien en un futuro, mi trabajo, mi vida, mi familia. Tantas cosas me preocupan que no se si es normal, pero creo que si tengo fe todo lo que yo quiera lo podre lograr. Solo necesito esa inspiración divina que me haga sentir que puedo volar y alncanzar todo lo que desee..
Hoy día busco un nuevo sol..
g.war
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